Story by Liv Pennelle
Benefits of Therapy – Destigmatizing Mental Health Treatment
As a person in long-term recovery from complex trauma and substance use disorder, I believe my experiences have shaped who I am today in a positive way.
Had I not experienced addiction to such an acute state I wouldn’t know the depths of what life is comparable to now: freedom, autonomy, agency, self-direction, and passion. It’s like I am describing two sides of the same coin: one side is dark and desolate with no meaning in life and the other has color, laughter, meaning and purpose. From my experiences in recovery I have finally felt true joy. However, I don’t believe that would’ve been possible without therapy.
The first few years of my recovery felt pretty miserable. Sure, there was relief from not waking up so hungover that I needed a drink to steady me. But that novelty soon wore off. Sitting in church basements with my new friends was marginally better than a life in addiction, but only just. I knew there had to be more. That’s why I started a blog, moved to the US and created a life that made me excited to get up every day — a life that is based on the belief that recovery is what you make it.
Had it not been for my move I wouldn’t have also reflected upon changing my relationship with how I was recovering. It seemed incongruent to change my life by moving countries, but not change what felt like a stagnant recovery. I decided to move away from 12-step recovery in favor of therapy.
From my experiences in recovery I have finally felt true joy.
My first session felt like taking a gasp of fresh air. I learned that I had untreated complex trauma and that in order to recover I had to gain agency, autonomy, and build my self-esteem. Through therapy, I learned more effective coping strategies that were rooted in building capacity and resiliency, but also the belief that I have the ability to make sound and healthful decisions. I was encouraged to trust myself, develop my intuition and to build an identity. Too much of my former identity was linked to 12-step recovery and my history. I didn’t want to define myself by my addiction — or label myself by the pejorative term “alcoholic” — being the only thing about me; I wanted to define myself as my recovery being my superpower. And that is what therapy gave me: the confidence and the support to believe in myself and my abilities.
It’s surprising looking back since I last wrote my biography, I have come so far since my last drink in March 2012. I moved continents, to a place where I didn’t know anyone or have anywhere to live. I set up a business that uses my recovery experiences to help others find recovery and start to believe in themselves, and I help organizations hone their voice to become visible to the people who need them. I bought a house, adopted a dog, and grew the most epic vegetable garden. I decided to take another huge leap of faith in December 2019 and applied to grad school. I’m delighted to say that despite a 1:3 admit rate, I’ll be starting my studies toward my Master’s in Social Work in the fall of 2020. I want to use my experience to help people clinically to find the kind of freedom I have found in therapy and recovery.
The opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Orexo AB or Orexo Inc. The authors have been asked not to reveal specifics around potential medically assisted treatments used to reach recovery to Orexo or the readers.
